so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
