I want to stick my p in your. b.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
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