no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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