You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
third nipple confirmed
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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