Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Who put my cat in the fridge?
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
