I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Randomize
