My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
