It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
