Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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