the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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