Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
