I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
how drunk are you?
Several
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
