why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
