so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
