what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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