i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Randomize
