i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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