i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
