i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Randomize
