Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
