Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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