We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Randomize
