I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
