Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
