Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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