47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Randomize
