none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
