May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize