You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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