Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
