i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
It's just like the Real World with babies
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
