Im at strip club and am horny
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
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