ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Randomize