Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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