Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize