You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
