I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
