Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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