So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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