she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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