Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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