my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Randomize
