oh god the rape fog is back!
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
this just has baby written all over it
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
