**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Randomize
