i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
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