lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
