hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
