just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
My dick has a subreddit
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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