So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize