It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
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