I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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