absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
