What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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