Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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