Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
