You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
