it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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